2017 brought was, in many ways, a good year for films. From the breakout success of Jordan Peele's Get Out, to excellent blockbusters such as Wonder Woman and Dunkirk, to another successful chapter of the Star Wars saga, 2017 has plenty of great films to remember and cherish. In fact, there's so many good movies, I'm still working on catching up with all of them. My best movie list is very much still a work in progress, and I won't it ready for you, my loyal readers (ie my mom, wife, and a couple selected randos) for another week or so. BUT I did see plenty of bad movies this year. My DVD Netflix subscription allows me to watch terrible movies in the safety of my own home.
Before I dive into my bottom 10,there's also plenty of bad movies that I didn't bother seeing (looking at you Daddy's Home 2!) that could easily make the list. Without further adieu... here's my bottom 10 for 2017.
10) The House - This should have been a no brainer... a Will Ferrell/Amy Poehler team-up about two down on their luck parents who open up a casino in their home to help pay for their daughter's college tuition. Instead, everyone involved seems to be going through the motions in order to cash a paycheck.
9) Rough Night - Please, please, please stop trying to make "the next Bridesmaids." This movie fails on almost every level. Unfunny cast. Poor writing. Pointless plot. ScarJo should not be a comedy lead.
8) Ghost In The Shell - 2017 was a rough year for ScarJo. From her uninspired performance in the aforementioned Rough Night, to the white-washed version of Ghost In The Shell, she just seemed out of place. The producers of this film, turned a legendary Japanese anime film, and turned it into a generic lifeless blockbuster.
7) Justice League - Superman's digital mustache removal alone landed this movie in my bottom 10. Justice League may be my biggest disappointment of the year. Any hopes that DC had turned a corner after Wonder Woman were sadly crushed with this total mess of a movie. There's apparently a director's cut out there that differs majorly from this stinker. I'd be interested to see if it ever gets released. Is there a major reboot in store for DC?
6) Life - A total Alien rip-off to the point of insult to the original. Shame on the producers of this total misfire of a film.
5) - Transformers: The Last Knight - I've spend enough money on Michael Bay films over the years that I could probably put his non-existent kids through college. I've always held a special place in my heart for these Transformers films. I can't quit them. I know they're terrible, but I enjoy Bay's visual style so much that it doesn't matter. The man can craft an action sequence like no one else. That being said, The Last Knight was a total piece of crap. No story. Actors collecting paychecks left and right. The wheels have finally fallen off this franchise. Will I be there opening night for the next one? Sadly, yes.
4) - Assassin's Creed - Hopes were high for this one to be the first good video game movie. It had a great cast and an almost can't-miss story. However, the film was a complete letdown from the opening seconds. Most video game movies are faulted for not being true to the source material. Assassin's Creed is guilty of being TOO true to the source... something that made it confusing to anyone not familiar with the game series.
3) - Baywatch - I love The Rock. I've been an avid fan since his wrestling days and have seen almost all his films. He revitalized the Fast & Furious franchise, was admirable in the G.I. Joe sequel, among others. However, his non-franchise choices of late have been stale to uninspired. I had high hopes for Baywatch. It seemed like the perfect choice to get the 21 Jump Street, self-reflective comedy treatment. I just wish it had the same writers. This movie is one long wet fart of a comedy that had me questioning my Rock fandom. If he keeps on this route, I am worried for his lasting power.
2) - Snatched - At no point during this terrible film is there anything close to resembling a coherent joke. Snatched features Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn as mother/daughter on a trip gone wrong. These two have almost zero chemistry together... not that the script gave them much to work with. Amy Schumer is funny, but I'm not convinced she's a movie star. I didn't think I could like anything less this year, until...
1) - The Dark Tower - Wow! This not only the worst movie of the year, it's a candidate for worst movie of the 2000's. Where do I begin? After years in development limbo, THIS is what we're left with??? Who thought it was a good idea to cram 8 novels into 90 minutes of movie? Idris Elba does his best to give this film some weight, but everything about this movie is terrible. It was so bad, I watched the second half of it in fast forward on my DVD player.
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